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Digital Deviant: Is it OK to “Friend” Your Boss on Facebook?
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Among the 80 million “millennials” in America – also known as Generation Y – more than half are already immersed in the workforce, and the rest aren’t far behind.
The sometimes-conflicting viewpoints between Gen Y and their bosses (usually Generation X or even Baby Boomers) regarding things like work ethic, flexibility and social media at the office has been a hot topic for the past few years.
Social media, in particular, is such a priority that in a recent survey from Cisco, more than half of millennial employees said they would choose the freedom to be “plugged in” at work over a higher salary when considering job offers.
So, it’s no surprise that one of the most controversial elements of social media at work is whether or not it’s acceptable to “friend” a boss, or even peers, on Facebook. And it seems as though the opinions are pretty much split down the middle – for now at least.
A recent survey from Liberty Mutual’s Responsibility Project discovered that 54% of Facebook users believe it is irresponsible to friend request your boss, and 61% think it is irresponsible to “friend” a direct report.
CBS News recently published an article called, “Facebook: 5 People Never to Friend from Work.” Guess who number one is on the list? Yep, your boss. Others on the list included HR reps, direct reports, previous bosses and work “frenemies.”
Friending a boss on Facebook is incredibly tempting, especially if you’re dying to get a glimpse of “who they really are” outside of the office.” But the reality is, it’s just too risky and they are most likely going to ignore your request – leaving you to feel rejected and awkward.
The rule of thumb if you’re a millennial – and you like your job – is to avoid mixing personal social media use with your co-workers. You’ll thank yourself when you hear the story about your friend who got busted playing hooky from work because of their status update on Facebook.
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Denise Day is a writer and owns a public relations company called Orchid PR.
So, what do you do when you boss requests you on Facebook? I think it is important to understand the culture of the workplace to figure out whether this is appropriate. I don't mind my boss being my facebook friend because of our office environment. Also, I think this has to do with how you present yourself through social media. I always tell my students that I will confirm their request but I don't invite my advisees to be my facebook friends. I also say that if you decide you want to be my friend then you should be prepared for the repercussions should something inappropriate pop up in my newsfeed. Some of them still request to be my friend and others wait until they graduate. I don't care that my boss or students are my facebook friends because I live a very congruent life and don't have anything to hide from anyone. We all need to make smarter choices about what we post on line.
If my students want to know more about my life beyond the office walls, I invite them to ask me questions and I behave like a real person around them who chats about real life happenings. Authenticity is key to not having to worry about Facebook issues.
I had a boss who friended me on Facebook. I accepted the request and put him on limited profile. I think my worry was that my primary role in that job was statistical analysis, but my primary extracurricular was playing music-- and the two really don't jive imagewise. Of course, when our group went on the yearly retreat, he asked me to bring my guitar. So maybe my fears were blown out of proportion a little.
I disagree that you shouldn't send a friend request to your boss. The best working relationships are formed when people get to know each other as *people*, not just the polished single-dimension version of ourselves we may present in the workplace. That being said, all it takes is a bit of common sense when considering what to share on Facebook. If you're in the habit of posting pics of your Tuesday night beer pong championship, create a list that doesn't include your boss (or your grandma, etc) and only share questionable content with that particular list. That hypothetical friend who got busted playing hooky because of a status update wouldn't have had that problem if she'd directed that update to a limited list.