theSkimm August 16, 2012: Rock the boat, don’t tip the boat over|
Rock the boat, don’t tip the boat over
THE STORY: Young undocumented immigrants can now officially apply for deferred deportation and work permits under a new federal program. Thousands lined up to get things started.
THE WHAT: President Obama announced the program, back in June, through executive authority, not law, after Congress failed to pass the Dream Act, which would pave a path to citizenship for young illegals. This program doesn’t make you legal, but let’s you stay just a little bit longer – unless Barry loses. Deportations can be deferred for up to two years and applicants must be under 31 and have arrived before age 16.
THE WHY (DO I NEED TO SKIMM?): 1.7 million young foreigners can now apply for the program, meaning they are eligible to work in the US and don’t have to worry about deportation right away. This helps Obama with Latino voters, a key bloc in this race.
WHAT THE LOVERS SAY… What’s wrong with letting people, who grew up here, work and contribute to the US economy without the fear of being deported? Have a heart!
WHAT THE HATERS SAY… Real convenient election year politics, Obama. Did you just forget that Congress exists or chose to ignore it entirely? You’re giving back door access to people who come here off the boat (or off the back of a truck, or under the fence, or off the raft, etc.). How does this help unemployed Americans?
WHAT THE SKIMMS SAY… It lets a whole lot of people stay when jobs are tight, but also gives kids, who grew up here, a chance to legally work. Restrictions, though, still leave millions of undocumented workers ineligible for the program. Do we all need to be reminded that we got Thanksgiving, Katz’s deli, Taylor Street, and Google from a melting pot?
THE * : Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer is not a big fan of Obama’s new policy, to say the least. She made clear that in Arizona an undocumented person still means undocumented, deferred or not, and will not be given public benefits.
REPEAT AFTER ME…
What to say when you’re craving Kibbe … Let’s order in and not go to Lebanon. The country just got pulled into the Syrian conflict in a very scary way. More than 30 Syrians in Lebanon have been kidnapped by Lebanese clansmen, allegedly as revenge for the kidnapping of a relative inside Syria. Qatar, UAE, Saudi Arabia, and Kuwait urged their citizens to leave Lebanon, for fear that more instability will ensue. How’s that war working out for you, Assad?
What to say before a board meeting vote… Wouldn’t it be helpful if we could make it so that all the people we think might vote against us are ineligible to vote at all??? That dream may have just come true for some Republicans after a Pennsylvania judge upheld a controversial new voter ID law that will require each voter to show valid photo ID, in an effort to cut down on voter fraud and protect the integrity of the election. Opponents say that it makes it more challenging for the young, disabled, elderly, and poor (who would probably vote Obama) to vote. Republicans didn’t seem too stressed.
What to say at a networking event… I’m really impressed by how the Getty family maneuvered to increase its own stake in the company. The Carlyle Group plans to spend $3.3 billion for an over 50% stake in the photo and video distributor, allowing the remainder of the company to go mostly back to Getty. Hey, Mark Zuckerberg, this is how it should be done.
What people are horrified by… A man carrying a backpack with “materials related to Chik-fil-A restaurants” walked into the D.C. lobby of the Family Research Council, a conservative policy organization, and shot a security guard. No word on the motive, but the gunman allegedly was a volunteer at a LGBT center and the Family Research Council recently supported Chik-fil-A’s stance on “traditional marriage.” We’re guessing he disagreed.
What say when you fight with your cable company… I can’t wait to cancel you and go with the company that Apple wins over for a live TV experience. iWant.
What to say on a date … It’s a shame Mach 6 was a failure. No, I’m not talking about your razor – you did a good job shaving. An experimental hypersonic aircraft that was designed to reach Mach 6, or 3,600 mph, failed miserably. It’s not easy trying to fly at six times the speed of sound. So much for that 45-minute flight to London. Oh, and the Pentagon’s ability to carry out global strikes in minutes.
What to say to your friend who works in finance… How bad is the mood in the office now that JPMorgan and UBS are among seven banks that have allegedly been subpoenaed as a part of an investigation into the Libor fixing? Manipulating a global interest rate is no joke (as you can tell by our inability to make this funny).
What to say to the stranger in the elevator… How ’bout them Giants? Their All-Star MVP outfielder Melky Cabrera was suspended for 50 games, after testing positive for testosterone. Sounds like the Melk Man took his “Got Melk?” nickname a little too seriously.
What to say to your friend who’s been dumped… You can mourn the relationship for half its length. Not four TIMES its length, like Kris Humphries. Humphries is still giving Kim K a hard time about divorcing and still cries fraud. He also apparently tried to subpoena her by hiding the papers in a Nordstrom box. Points for creativity, Humph.
What to say at Happy Hour… Have you ever thought about how stressful it is to be a supermodel? You have to mind the ticker, jump over the snakes, and catch all that bling. Meet Fashion Hazard.
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