Forget Work-Life Integration: Are you even ready to date? A handy manual.|
The Levo League usually focuses on career-specific issues and tactical advice for female professionals. But it turns out that female professionals have personal lives as well– and the personal and professional have overlap, whether you want them to or not. So we’ve brought in an expert in Strategic Dating, Samantha Karlin, to give us the short answers on the relationship questions that often serve as a distraction to our work lives– or worse, that we ignore by covering them with long hours in the office. Enjoy!
Are You Ready to Date? An at-a-glance guide.
It is easy to get excited about dating someone new– and to want to jump in, no holds barred. But if you want your dating life to be successful, you first have to make sure that you are ready to date. Think about it like preparing to travel to an African country: if you’re not set with the proper immunizations and documents, you will likely end up either miserably ill or in a very bad situation.
Signs you’re not ready to date:
- You’ve recently (as in, less than 6 months ago. Yes, that’s “six”) gotten out of a long-term relationship. You can add or subtract 3 months, depending on the amount of anger and/or attachment you still have for that person (if you’ve got lots of anger and attachment, make that figure 9 months; if your parting of ways was amiable, go for 3 months).
- You keep going after the same guy and are slowly noticing that guy is
- A) not into you
- B) not into you for more than one night- or vice versa
- C) abusive- physically or verbally
- D) a disaster of a human being.
Signs you are ready to date:
- You have a clear understanding of yourself- including your biggest strengths and your biggest weaknesses.
- You have an understanding of why past relationships did or didn’t work- and how you may have played into their corresponding success or demise.
- You have a clear understanding of who you are looking for- and moreover, you’re confident that this person actually exists.
- You have either been to therapy or seen a dating coach. Trust me.
- You have read in entirety at least one self-help book and applied it to your life. Nota bene: Cosmo does not count.
- You feel happy more often than you feel sad.
- You have an understanding of your own boundaries, and how/why it is important to set them.
- Even if you don’t have time, you know how to make time.
- You take care of your body, your health, and your mind.
- You have some semblance of where you are going in your life.
Samantha Karlin is the Director of Strategic Development at IvyDate. She is a long-established dating coach and image consultant, having worked with numerous clients on increasing self-esteem and gaining perspective on their love lives. Prior to working with IvyDate, Samantha was the corporate content manager at Meezoog.com, penning the popular “Dating Diva” blog. Ms. Karlin is a nationally syndicated dating columnist, having been published in Forbes, Fox Business, and Yahoo News, among others. Samantha has studied at Yale University, Tufts University and the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, specializing in gender issues and humanitarian conflict.